27 Aug 2009(Thu)

It's that time of the year again....approx 13mths since my last rituximab $10,000 infusion...

I thought it could last longer as I haven't been sick (flu, fever, cough, etc) for the past 1 yr...

For the past 2 weeks, I have been feeling the strain on my brain, tight & stuffy chest and headache....all due to project stress....Becoz of that, I have a relapse

Actually is not really project stress, but rather undue stress as a result of poor management by my project manager. How should I put it, my project manager is quite a soft-spoken, chinchay and nice guy....too nice a guy that he doesn't really dare to make any sound nor authorise his staff to do things when some of his team member are being ridden over.....

Well, it goes like this.....there 2 Indian SME in my project which has been on consecutive 3 yrs on this project. They are actually helpful when you ask them about knowledge relating to the system. However, they are not the kind that will be willing to sacrifice time of their own to help other team members...Well things like coming in late, gg off sharp and having long tea break when the team is so tight up with work..

I have been assigned a very large new module this year. Last year there was a similar module that was launched but it was a much simplier and smaller module. btw, last yr, the work was distributed among 4 SME to do it. This year I have to do it alone esp I am quite new on this project. My prev yr lady pm could not join this project this yr as she is tight up in some other project. Although she is more detailed and strict, I actually likes the way she do things. At least she make sure team member helps one another out and that people finish their assigned task before they go home.

This lady pm came down for review 2 weeks ago and did ask the 2 Indian SME to helpout as it was too much work for this module. But the 2 Indian SME seems nonchalant...Did not even bother to review the things that I have completed 2 weeks ago until the day before it was supposed to be handover to client for review.

I got a shock of my life. The moment they take a glimpse, they said the whole format and phrasing is wrong. I refuted by saying isn't this the exact format you ask me to follow for what you all have done last yr? They replied, "NO" last yr never show to client so they can write like tat. This year need to present to client that is why cannot be in this format. I was at a loss of words....tomorrow is the deadline and today 4pm you are telling me I have to change everyting that I have done. I was still expecting them to offer some help. But "NO". They went back at 630pm. I told my current pm after they left that I was rather unhappy...All he could say was 'NO choice! Learn it the hard way". If it was the lady pm, I am sure she would make sure the others stay to help out..and not leave me alone in the office to clear up the shit...

Like I say, he was too soft and will nt stand up for the other team members who is been bullied. Before the 2 Indian SME left, he just softly say "Tomorrow help catherine to review the changes before submission".

Well, I didn't think too much at that point of time as I know I have tonnes of things to do before the the deadline which is tomorrow...and I continue to rush the changes.

Fot that last min unneccessary stress that should have never happen, I was warded in hospital for sever tummy pain, leg pain(early stage of arthritis). What can I say....poor management

I just hope that this project end soon...I was given mc till 09.09.09. But I be back to work next monday as there is so much work to do and is the final stage of the project.
I do not want to be the main cause of delay. Hopefully, I can get a backoffice job and stay off all this last min shit thing.