Feb 18 ..First day of Lunar New Year...."Year of the Golden Pig"......

This year is supposed to be a joyous year for my family....Why? Because my sister was supposed to give birth to 3 babies piggy in May 07.........

However Feb 18 turn out to be the most tragic and sad day of my year 2007.......

My beloved sister...my most dearie....goodie sister....the kindest and great sister I ever had....was hospitalised...on 15 feb...after much stomach cramp....

Don't understand why good people...also does not have good returns..
while bad people...always live long and have good fortune...."Does God really exist"....

The stay in hospital wasn't a fantastic one.....she has been under painkiller injection and medicine to stabilised her 3 babies....

Finally....the day come 18Feb...Monday night...the last call from my sis....she is resting well..and pain has subsided...is ready to be discharged on 20Feb when the Gynaceologist is back from holiday......Then at about 11pm...received a call from my brother in law(BIL)...Could hear my sisterbcrying in pain....my BIL says her water bag has burst.....we all know...it's gone...coz it is only 21 weeks to her pregnancy......the baby will be too small to survive outside mother womb.....

I and my mum rush down to the hospital immediately.....when we reach...my BIL says...the first baby...was out of the womb...and didn't survive as expected....

outside the labour ward..I could still hear my sister groaning in pain...
"My heart really aches for her"..and there is nothing I could do...
Thou skeptical.as I know...all this is just a spiritual support..All I could do is to pray for her.... "I pray for the god to hear my prayers....to lessen my sister pain....let her keep her babies.....at least 1...."

After the 1st baby was born and pass away...I went in the labour ward...to console my sister and to calm her down...as she was really in pain and in great discomfort...in the ward, I saw the corpse of the baby.....he was already fully formed..with the cute little fingers and toes....my heart goes all out for my sister and the death of my nephew......

We thought the 2 babies left in the womb..might have a chance of survivial......I nearly wanted to break down...and cry when I saw my sister groaning in pain....nothing I could do..All I did was held her hand and pray inside my heart....to plead for
"God to hear my prayers ...lessen her pain and let her babies stay with her"...God didn't answer my prayer again..I wonder...does God really exist??
Or is jst some myth that people just hold them in their spiritual support?...


Ever since I almost die 10 yrs ago in the hospital....I know "God never exist". Neither has it lessen my pain in the hospital or for the past 10 years....
"I survived with my own strong will and determination"....When everyone thought I was going to die...I pass through the ordeal...and survive.....I remember my sis told me during my ordeal 10 years back. u..This is a something that has never once...leave my mind....coz it just show how great she is as a sister...and how much she is willing to sacrifice for me.

1 hour has past and she is still groaning in pain..then her 2nd water bag burst again..This time round.....both 2nd and baby was born and pass away....it was the saddest moment of my life...ever since my ordeal 10 years ago...

By this time..my sis no longer groan ......but I could see the devasted look on her face......and I saw the other 2 body of my nephews...

"May the 3 of my nephews rest in peace". You always be in my memory.....

Went home at about 3am......

Everyting is over..however, I don't feel one bit better....in fact..sometimes...tears will just trickle down my face...when I think of it.....even when I am writing this blog now....

Just don't understand......why is life so unfair..some people can have kids easily..and just abandon or abort their kid / babies just like trash..while others try so hard to have one...but turn out to be nothing.....

The journey forward will be tough for my sister.....But I am sure all will turn out well for her...and one day..she will be able to fulfill he wish....

Much as I wish for, I also hope that one fine day...I can also have a baby of my own..no matter how hard it takes for me.....

Just hope that God will make life fairer for human beings.....